itspayday

New up coming shopping BLOG!!!!

2009-05-24T12:11:57Z

guys visit this blog okay for some new and exciting clothes!!!

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its relatively new so please support okay!!! and enquiries please kindly do so help!

ohhh army life army life army life

2009-02-21T19:39:30Z

oh army life. i wonder how may it be, how may it make me stronger yet weaker in certain areas. To maintain a balance is not easy, to be someone else, even harder, yet being oneself to be who he really is, can never get tougher this time round. i miss the life i had before army, is it because i havent adapted yet? or is it because i feel everything just slipping away and away and away.

jus watched soccer and gladly man u beat blackburn 2 - 1. assurance granted.

Its gonna be a long and rushing day tomorrow, sigh, why the weekends must past so quickly, i just dont feel like slipping, i just want to do anything and everything but sleep. its because i feel sometimes army may jus enclose too much freedom that i sought for so long. only to know now, its been taken away. fret not then, may optimism take away the uncertainty and dread away, for i hope someday, it'll be over (this im sure) and moving on will never seem so much easier. good nights.

army is tiring. indeed.

2009-02-01T11:30:10Z

adjustment to army life is really hard for me but the fact is that trying always works. no matter what, it becomes really hard sometimes but yet again.... i guess i have people there to be there for me.

i pray for what is best for myself, i live it up all to whom is up there. the weekends are a bliss but a torture because u have to go back in so soon, treasure every moment, enjoy while it last. the responsibility is growing, every minute every time.

9th jan is approaching!

2009-01-07T13:54:16Z

wow. its so close to enlistment, it sucks honestly, but owells! what has to be done has to be done anyway.

it feels really awkward now that army is coming, i dont know if its stress or something but has been feeling good these days. haha must be really heaty inside and better avoid the evils of dining and computer games.

i've to be really positive when im inside the army, theres always something new to learn and enjoy the experience. nothing comes easy. now gotta get mentally prepared. its time for me to step up to my challenges, hopefully, new ones.

happy new year!

2009-01-01T04:45:20Z

sorry for my lack of posts!

its been a great hols i guess. certain ups and downs and definitely army in a weeks time. this uncertainty, well, is making rather miserable, but i shall look forward with some optimism and say, it will be a great year. =)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

feast your eyes

2008-12-18T01:38:09Z

wahwah. shopping is just.... feasting of eyes but temptation of the heart cannot be suffice. =(

WHY SO EXPENSIVE =D

anyway. hols are gonna run out so fast as xmas approaches. its gonna get really tiring and fast. soon, i'll be even more tired, worse still, in the army where the life that i longed for will slowly diminish. but somehow, would life be better? or just the same old thing? there will be a change, but for the worse? i wonder, i tell myself, what can i do to make things better? nothing i guess.

track chalet was good, so was the outings and dinners and buffets, that physically, i look real good, and full of prosperity. argh. need to start exercising and hopefully, i can survive in army

money not enough

2008-11-25T17:58:27Z

shopping for clothes today was pretty tiring. cant wonder how girls can spend hours finding clothes. but now... i sort of understand. heh.

owells. im so tired. dont feel like doing anythin though and yes. its time to sleep. will update more! more outings and more fun. but i need to save money. i need to save as much as i can. times are bad though. but i jus got hooked onto buying things. shruggs.

i just neeed some stuff though. well SOME. argh. i cant help but ramble over things i cannot afford! sighhh!

it was a good day though. met jiff vince and sasa and went shopping. bloody tiring. travelling all ard town and meeting cjc ppl on the way. owells. A's are god damn over man. =) and we all should (esp the boys) to enjoy all we can before entering the regimentational lifestyle.

gonna sleeeep =)

oh i see

2008-11-23T13:18:25Z

i'm never appreciated. but i'm happy with it. life is like that. no matter what. it doesnt matter. no one will bother and no one will try to make a difference for me anymore. its okay.

u will always be the scum of my life. the problem, lies with you.

trustworthy nots

2008-11-21T18:16:53Z

it comes to take away blessings that was never meant to be mine. but most of all, it gave me an experience so enriching that it could be served as my most fruitful lie.

on a side note. astons is great and so is new york new york! great food recently. but i'll update more when i can soon up =)

circle of people.

2008-11-20T17:12:50Z

had a really good time. =) cheers. i shall stop here. damn tired can. =D

will update more tomorrrorws (today)

my random guess

2008-11-20T01:01:52Z

every turn speaks for itself, this time entering a new dimension and a different zone. an unventured route, an unexplored territory. i wonder, how long can i take it? self disillusion in a form of a pretence, false assumptions and reckless attempts to recovery. say it wont hurt again, say i wont meet those hypocrites.

say i will feel free,
say i will fly free,
say you let me free.

no use acting like a stranger, where 2 unknown worlds collide, believe in that simple form of innocence, believe in that mistaken song for the broken hearted. beauty never seem to near today, yet it will be jus that few inches of my grip. and today, no matter where you are, out there, somewhere, strangers wont ever meet, till the time is right. because we will always urge ourselves to please why heart's most sinful wishes. stay thy way and stay thou are, the decision for instant happiness is worth the lifetime of bitter hard.

i guess its abt the vibes.

2008-11-19T02:02:20Z

well. im gonna leave this anxiety i have to fate or to the ying and yang, the course of nature and obviously try not to look back at it. sometimes you feel the emptiness, yet people who dont reciprocate. especially people whom you try to bond for so long. i guess i'll always remain so insignificant in their eyes. a hi-bye person for these 2 long years. obvious they dont really care and im sure. it will always remain this way. one will only call if they are desperate, one will only call if they need favours or want to have fun with my organising something. sometimes its hard to please someone, remaining petty all her life. influencing others and spoiling the fun. but its okay. others just remains ignorant and short sighted but.... who am i to complain? im trying and well, its probably time to give up, maybe it doesn't feel so disappointing anymore.

and to you. please stop talking to me this way. im sick and tired of your attitude and your negativitiy. im repeating all this blah blah? sorry but i dont give a fuck after u talk to me in such a tone. and dont say u talk to me very nicely. in reality u DONT. i've got nothing to say to you, once u talk to me in such a fucked up tone. sorry but thats the way u are behaving since so long. and since u dont love u since last year. u can fuck off from my life. bye.

A's are officially over and great. its time to party. but somehow, i wonder whats next? i pray for a safe journey and i wish, i'll be much happier. hopefully.

fucked up and insincere.

2008-10-27T17:44:54Z

some people are jus so fucked up and insincere and forever will be like that. they will stay so dumb.

they wont change for the better. they only wanna know the worse and make it worse. thats so you. and u will always stay that fucking same. because u have proofed time and time again. stop annoying me please. im moving on. and done so long ago.

acceptance

2008-10-25T16:12:54Z

anyone willing to allow my inner demons out and gladly subdue them for me?

sometimes i realised what was love.

2008-10-25T06:22:41Z

sometimes i wonder what had thou brought onto myself. that made me so resilent, persistant and really stubborn to certain perceptions i have failed to change. i have to categorise it into whether i want to or i cant or rather, i refuse to. this refusal begs alot of promises that were to be broken, and pains that seemed unforgiven. undoubtably, i wish for a better future, with or without my hypocrisy.

i knew, that if i were to love, i must give up those silly tandrums and petty grumblings. keyword to trust and a principle to forgive. but for now, pardon my sorry heart and reluctance to change, nows not my time and time wont wait. i guess i have to understand. and hopefully in future, i will see that star once again. peace.

maybe loving someone now wasnt meant to me being with her, because, she'll end up devastated and distraught beyond my imagination. thanks for the talk sister.

getting really tired

2008-10-23T15:57:11Z

A lvls is giving the chills. prepared and yet not. what stage am i in?

fucking pissed off

2008-10-22T04:37:26Z

fucking leave me alone man people. those who dont fucking care. i guess i've wasted too much of my fucking time. now im in deep shit. thanks so much for those who fucking wasted my time. seriously regretted. dont fucking stress me any further. get lost. bye.

have u met someone so....

2008-10-20T13:35:39Z

sometimes i wonder what makes a situation so difficult. sometimes. i dont know why people complicate things. they leave things to the dying moment in hope for repentence. gosh. my morals are failing, they are jus fading away, corrupting itself and destroying my own principles. i wonder what it takes to make things work. yet i know myself that i cannot change anymore. i cannot afford to do any more damage to myself to someone else. i'll make peace. and let her be right. i can take all the blame. i'll be fine. i promise myself. =)

itspayday @ 2008-10-18T10:36:00

2008-10-18T03:11:37Z

just the way we are. we will see it now. an mirror that i see of myself, sees me falling down. good. i like the freefall feeling. but not any sooner esp in the army.

late late late i dont care?

2008-10-17T01:16:44Z

its too late u understand. blame my stubborness. exault yourself. i dont care. i dont like it but i dont care.

jus take it all back to the past, where the word fear is use more truthfully.

ITS SO NEAR!

2008-10-04T13:48:55Z

OMG A LEVELS IS SO FREAKING NEAR. study pls. i'll blog after 14 NOV OKAY!

so near

2008-09-28T03:38:17Z

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

helps explains the lack of post or rather. too tired to post =) happy childrens day everyone harharhar. (in advance) and pls study hard people.

helppp

2008-09-23T12:06:42Z

anyone willing to help me in my subjects pls. h2 hist math and h1 chem.

were we born to be so self centred?

2008-09-09T14:54:04Z

self centred.

sometimes i wonder to myself, why do the knots felt so lose. its pretty demoralising when u get to see through the shadows. its when u see the layers that once has been blurred and now finally, clarity shown how deceiving one can be. u fend your blades, u threaten the weak, u build the rapport that surrounds u, jus like an aura ure so desperate to lay claim to. u succeed, and failure shall seem inevitable at this point of time, never will u fall, never will u break, because sympathy shall keep u awake. sometimes i pray for the ignorance that was so bliss, so should i turn a blind eye? the trend to gain the upper hand. the followers, blind and dumb, silence fills the halls that u strolled into, thy pace speaks clearly your intentions, nevertheless, it was your clear deceptions.

i wont start this argument. because im lazy to end it, im too tired to sustain it. ure jus that wrecked fellow, never willing to forgive, that reluctance to look back, to see whats around u. caught in the act, not many neither once. you were just the other guy i know, tell me what you seek, a facade is what we peek. humble thyself, dont be like a pharisee. weep like a hypocrite, because that is what you've grown up to be. sorry friend, we are jus mere associates in this small world. cheap thrills shall not last long, because fate is nothing like a mirror. glistening in the reflection of the sun, where is burns, it will burn, and when it does, enjoy the blister on thy ski and do not regret, because i will then be just a stranger.

it gets annoying sometimes. but i just have to cope with it. it was worth it coming home. its jus too tiring to stay outside.

economics today was.... okay. some ppl say its easy. i beg to differ. no excuse. im not as prepared i thought i was.
kubo rest well and take care. see you in school soon.
math tomorrow. god bless me. even i didnt really try. pls give me some hope. superbionic memory.and hopefully. an E at least. HAHAHA. wishful thinking? so be it. i'll be really positively negative.

argh. the flu bug is biting me.

2008-09-07T14:19:35Z

i really really detest the flu that i got. its so hard to freaking study. nothing gets into the head of mine. esp when its history TOMORROW. im screwed x 1000000.

sigh. i really wanna do reasonably well this prelims. if not i'll be so demoralised for A levels haiz.

i need to look for some hope.